This week in the midst of Covid-19 restrictions I held an acquaintance (I'll call them Tracey) in my arms while they wept. Restrictions be hanged! Tracey needed a hug and I was completely compelled to give it. While I am a rule follower by nature and rather conservative in my approach to life, the one area I have been expanding my horizons is in my capacity to express love. Now I say expanding because I have a very long way to go. In some ways, I feel like a deflated balloon with a whole lot of potential to grow but needing some divine pressure to get me to make some positive moves at times.
What compelled this breaking of rules? It was a combination of expectation and anticipation. Tracey had just received bad news, really bad news. Leading up to receiving this news Tracey had to compel, actually had to adamantly push the "Christians" around them (who had authority to act responsively) to proceed in a loving, caring manner which Tracey thought was more than reasonable. Tracey thought it was more than reasonable because of an expectation that Christians be Christ-like. Tracey expects Christians to "love the Lord their God with all their heart, mind, soul and strength and to love their neighbour as themselves". (Mark 12, Matt 22, Luke 10). Even as a person who does not follow Christ, Tracey exemplifies this behaviour themselves and knows it is a key truth and teaching of the Christian church.
Why should Tracey have to push "Christians" to do the loving thing? I believe that Tracey's expectation of a loving response from Christians was reasonable. It concurs with the call of Christ to His church to love so that others will glorify God because of the love they see in believers' interactions with others (John 13:35). Yet that behaviour was not the reality in this situation. In fact, the subsequent anticipation of Tracey was to hear judgmental, derogatory responses from people "of faith" regarding the situation. On hearing Tracey's anticipation I was heartbroken. As much as I wanted to refute Tracey's anticipation, I knew, and had experienced, exactly what Tracey was talking about. I did remind Tracey that despite experience the negative statements anticipated were completely untrue. They were not true in God's economy, nor were they valid in any way but oh the sting of harsh words in the face of a difficult trial.
So, what is my point today as I ponder expectation and anticipation? My heart's cry is: may the expectations that the world places on followers of Christ to be loving, be seen in Christians more frequently. May followers of Christ become increasingly aware that we need the wind of the Spirit to fill us, to expand our capacity to love so that God is glorified through our actions.
While this is my prayer, I know that I cannot change others. I can only change myself. Even if I shout out all the verses that say don't judge or you too will be judged, I doubt it will impact anyone. So, I humble myself. I recognize my own shortfall(s) of which are many. I commit for today, to accept what I cannot change, but to, with determination, change what I can so that when people interact with me they can reasonably anticipate something better than what they have perhaps experience in the past.
Prayer: Lord, may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight. Ps 19:14.
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