Grumbling
Last week at church the pastor was talking about Blind Spots. They are those areas of our life that we do not consider to be a big issue, but which can send us into a fatal crash if we do not excercise caution and watchfulness.    He was talking specifically about gossip, which was not super pertinent to me, however one of this side effects of gossip is that the person who does so is often a grumbler.   Now that point made some little fire works go off in my head.  
Grumbling.    Off on my own thoughts, I considered Moses.   He was called out of a self-imposed obscurity to go and be the voice of God.    His life  and his relationships were in danger once he started the work, yet he prevailed. Through his obedience the Israelites were freed, the Egyptians were "defeated" by God and the Israelites were off and running (well walking) into the dessert and into their future promised land.
The Israelite's rejection of the provision of God in His promise of being able to conquer and take the promised land with and for them subsequently left Moses and the people wandering for 40 years.  Except for Joshua and Caleb, all those above the age of 20 were promised a life of wandering without a home.  They would not be able to enter the Lord's rest.
Here is where I see what I may have done has I been Moses.  Despair, "why Me?" and grumbling would have likely been my response.  That was not the case with Moses.  Moses' response was to interceded for the Israelites.  He reminded God if His attributes and asked God to prevail with the Israelites.   The edict of God did not bring Moses to bitterness or grumbling.   Instead, he persevered and prevailed.   Even when God clearly told Moses that he would not lead the Israelites into the promised land Numb 20:12, Moses did not grumble, back bite, complain or hold a hardened heart towards God.     He simply continued on, faithfully.
I can not say that I am nearly that humble or holy.    I grumble.   Oh sometimes I think it is just talking about my life and its events in a realistic way.  However, as my words or attitude are repeated back to me, or the heart response of another to my words is much more intense that I anticipated, I realize I am stepping beyond conversation and entering into a heart attitude that supports grummbling.  I see it is not so much my words that are a problem, though they are, it is my heart attitude which seeps our and affects those around me.   This is a blind spot that I need to apply some brakes to in my life in order to avoid a collision.

I would love to think that self control is sufficient to stop this pattern of speech, of thinking, of interacting.   It is not.   I have seen that the negative thoughts of life need to be replaced by better thinking, holy thinking, praiseworthy thinking and speech. The first step of replacing grumbling is owning the mantra that; "You don't have to believe everything you think".  I need to be fed nourished and filled with every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.
Grumbling, whether out loud or to myself are under reconstruction in my life.   The "do not enter" sign is up.  Praise and thankfulness are replacing grumbling.  A new pathway is being established which leads to much better outcomes in my heart and in the lives of others.
Some thoughts and questions...
How much does grumbling filter into your speech?
Would people say your conversations are full of grace, peace and encouragement?
What perspective do people have of your life from the way you speak about it?
Does God come out victorious in your speech or is he an after statement that acts as icing on something that is rather unsavoury underneath.